#REALTALK: 5 ground rules if you just started dating

A new flame can be very exciting, but every relationship comes with a bunch of new issues and obstacles. Most of them common communication problems. Here’s a piece of advice for ladies who just started dating their newfound Mr. Big. You know, just to make sure you and your beau hit it off just right.

Are you exclusive?

In our womanly eyes – of course a relationship is exclusive! From his point of view – it may not be. When the guy is head over heels for you he won’t even think of another ladyfriend but you might be surprised how many men still keep their options open. You don’t have to go through his call list to find out if he’s seeing other girls – and the worst thing you can do is start out a jealous rage! If you’re not sure just yet and you want to bring it up, make sure to do so in a calm, collected manner so you don’t come off crazy. The rule is: if you had a couple of dates and you both feel like it’s serious the decent thing to do is stop seeing other people. If you only had dinner once and you see a text popping up from another girl, it’s not a really big deal as you can’t expect exclusivity just yet.

You’re dating, not moving in 

Especially in the beginning of a new relationship sleepovers can be something to look out to. Just don’t scare the guy by leaving a bunch of maxi pads and half of your make-up kit at his apartment. Of course you want to feel home at his place and make it as comfy as possible for your girly self. But you would be surprised how easy you can scare him off. The stuff you leave behind should be fun, light and preferably sexy. Like a lacey thong or a Chanel Rouge lipstick. You kind of mark your place without clinging too much or giving him the impression you want to move in ASAP. Initiative should come from guys anyways – that’s a ground rule for not all, but many things.

P.S.: Just because you can’t leave it behind, doesn’t mean you can’t bring it. Always have tampons, a tooth brush, basic cosmetics and clean undies in your bag. You don’t want to look shabby the next morning. You also might want to add travel sized shampoo to this list because some guys only have shower gel and your hair can end up smelling like AXE the next morning.

P.P.S.: I almost forgot. The only way to properly invade his personal space is by taking his shirt. These are for girls to keep and guys should obviously know. And by shirt I mean his white long sleeve shirt for you to make coffee in and maybe even wear outdoors. Not his oversized T-shirt! Ugh. That’s for sixteen year olds. Who sleeps in clothes anyways? And what guy has baggy T-shirts?

The Ex-files

Everyone has been there. You just found someone shiny and new and unfortunately they have history. When you haven’t yet decided your relationship it’s pretty easy to get jealous over an ex-girlfriend whose pictures are still up on his Facebook page and with whom he still might be friends… And then of course the questions that go through your head! Why did they break up? Is he even over her? Was she good in bed? How did her hair get so great? Darling, do you even want to know the answer? You should always keep in mind that to him, YOU are the shiny and new one. It’s okay to feel insecure but be nice, you’re not in a competition. We are all adult human beings, and they broke up for a reason. You should never, EVER be hateful towards an ex of someone! Everybody’s been with somebody, and you can’t get caught up in the past – especially someone else’s.

Again: keep things light

Chances are it already occurred to you that guys don’t (over)think as much as we do. And when it comes to a new relationship, we should take their example! Keep things light and don’t start a fight over a text that hasn’t been answered. If he doesn’t take it very serious, neither should you. I don’t even mean this in a bad way! Don’t let something stupid have the best of you and just focus on the fun stuff. If you’ve been together for three weeks, for example, it’s a bad idea to confront him about how he hasn’t invited you to his house yet, or to tell him how you don’t like his friends, or that he should stop smoking or drinking right away… If you only confront him when it’s 100% important and don’t nag about something every day he will take you more serious and listen better. And don’t forget that guys don’t ever rush to change their habits. They just like to take their good ol’ time.

It’s no scenario

The most obvious advice is to be yourself. Talk about things in a calm manner, don’t jump to conclusions too fast, and don’t let your girlfriends get to your head. At the end of the day – you’re starting a relationship with someone you like and who likes you back! Isn’t that swell? You are both on the same side and you should be true and honest at all times. Mutual respect and a heart-to-heart convo is worth more than doing things by “the statistically right time” or “giving the right response to query A or B”. It’s just the two of you! There is no real manual – you’re making your own traditions.

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